after thinking twice..
i decided to quit the current dead-ended job.
for those who are interested..
i am returning to the engineering field..
sincerely..
today ..tidying up my desk..
and draw those books and notes from the box covered with inches of dust..
lose the past.. change my mind.. take this chance and dont think too deep...
i am gonna start from there.. where i should belong to..
kelvin said.. if u do wanna make a difference..
that will definitely a great difference..
i can foresee there will be a huge pressure..
but cant estimate how huge it will be..
friends.. thanks for keeping me updated..
thanks for inspiring me..
and thanks for all of your assistance..
i aint gonna let u down.
people always say keeping walking...walking and walking...
me 2...
but now i think i have to walk slightly backward..
go back to the last crossroad..
and choose another one..
in order to get myself out of this mess....
i am inspired..
seems my views keep changing..
sometimes east.. and sometimes west...
hope this time i will not be in a flurry again...
those things u can easily get in hand..
will probably not be cherished..
lets start from here..
stay being a civil ..or make a new start in civil........
it's time to update..
being disappeared last week.. as pc did not function properly..
tried many times... repeating formatting and reinstalling windows and utilities..
finally succeeded in two days..
and completed in around 5 days..
for me.. such a pc idiot..
that should be not that long....
and now i experience as owning a new pc..
new interface.. new softwares..
especially those applied for musics and entertainment..
the ipod touch.. led me do wrong things on my pc..
resulting in the presence experience...
i dunno whether i should cherish this...
but i do enjoy the experience with the ipod..
though i lost some memories...
maybe i got involved too much in those voluntary work for teenagers..
makes me think of myself so frequent..
i was wondering whether i was wasting my time in doing this job..
despite of the fact that it is a not bad job..
i have got a new thought...
now i am not wasting my time..
although i am not having a bright future obviously..
i am surely paving for a better one for myself..
to cheer myself up..
i have to believe i am walking towards the destination in a circuitous way..
instead of the most straight path or the shot cut...
i start to fill myself up..
both in weight and life..
my 5day holiday finally comes to the end..
need to go back work tomorrow.. for 24 hours again..
but that should be good enough... comparing with my friends..
especially for those in stf..haha..
am i too free? oh.. questions come again..
and i start feeling quilty.. coz of too leisure with my life..
i have never thought of this..
a year ago.. my brother's friend mr.Ma asked me to think twice before taking this offer..
i did.. but i needed a job at that moment.. so i simply took it..
but now i think twice again..
should i leave for another place... which is more suitable to myself..
i start finding something more professional to learn or study..
instead of having those previous ideas of learning new things only..
this time i am serious.. not for fun..not for leisure..not for interest..
but for career.. and future..
friends give me some advices.. sometimes kidding.. sometimes serious..
but i have not come to an answer yet..
please give me advices..
i am so lazy.. not writing here for a few days...
seems short.. but can be that long..
i am now getting myself right on the track of work..
from preparation to finishing.. i did have chances to get involved in..
really thanks all of my colleagues..
during these days.. i thought of my future.. sometimes quite seriously..
what will i get.. and what will i deserve...
learn this learn that? pick up old things... or expose myself to something new..
being influenced by a current episode - the most beautiful seventh day.. i translate myself..
the story is simple.. and make me think of myself..
and asking questions to myself...
do u cherish your presence?
fighting for future... an act of everyone's everyday doing..
during the progress.. things do changing... whatever positively or negatively..
dis....encouraging or else...
so...do good things.. behave... being considerate...
those should be inborn and not to be reminded rite?
but just let me remind myself..
"what is your professionalism?"
it is a knife... pointing at my left chest..
i have never been thinking of having too much holiday...
but it does happen....
maybe it is too ridiculous.. maybe it sounds to be a lie..
maybe... it is just a hallucination... but it is not a sarcasm...
i wont deny i enjoy the current status...
but i always wish a better one...
ya.. i am so greedy.. just like others?
i start finding myself being too leisure with my job...
how come i get so much leisure time...
i do need to carefully consider what i should do during those life gap...
and how i can make use of those in order to bring myself closer to my dream...
i tried to read some books and notes from karrman..
but in vain.. i played tv games again...
oh again i wasted some time... and waste the chance to learn..
but i sent a letter out today..
which should be the most valuable action i have done today...
coughing still continues.. should i visit my doc again?
ah! another thing to be noted...
i went into bed at 730 last night.. till 9 this morning..
what a good dream.. and bring me a nice day..
now.. i am coming again!! good things please come to me again and again!!
I have always been longing for a new start..
those past... dun want to think anymore..
and those not worth remembering.. never remember...
the old blog was full of crap talk.. so just closed..
thanks jody introduce me this place...
where i can type anything and say anything that i expect not much people can see..
or even no one will see or be interested to see...
recently reported to my new post.. marine...
working as a ship's crew.. sounds interesting and with a smart image..
but actually it is not like that... i am just a crew.. and simply called a worker..
.... washing. . cleaning.. data entering.. and even take a big rest...
however.. at least i quite enjoy my current status.. even that can be much better..
as i am now not able to be promoted as a pi... which is my dream...
i will try harder to suit myself with my dream...
remember that i applied the post with much confidence..
i wished i could do myself well and take a great step to that higher level..
i dreamed for it.. i admitted..
coz that can fulfil my needs.. whatever money.. sense of suceed..
stability of life.. for myself and my future family..
and i have prepared myself already in case i need to sacrifice anything..
my dignity.. my time.. my fitness.. and my life..
all i need is dream... others .. i dun care.. sincerely..
when i was still in the camp.. that was not good to face with those invisible pressure..
even from myself and from peers...
to reduce the pressure.. i had tried my best to keep a low tone during the process..
even my gal.. she knew that as she asked ' where did u go?' with that unwelcome face..
cw tai asked me to handed in a composition of feelings during the camp..
oh my goodness.. what a sarcasm!!
at that time.. i just knew i had been turned down.. not being listed in the namelist of final interview..
those few people asked to relax.. and told me i was still young.. and i would definitely get another chance..
but i admitted i did care.. especially he succeeded.. even he was my friend..
from childhood.. i think no more than 5 people who truely understand me..
including my gal..
but that phonecall was one of the more impressed scene..
mkma gave me a call when i was on the bus way home..
he said .. hey friend.. i knew u care.. please dun deny..
but i did think u were the rite person and u deserved the promotion.
thanks mkma.. u did see through me at that moment.
now people who got pass through all of the examinations are undergoing the vetting process..
i truely want to say congratulations to mr leung.. u are so prominent..
and now u are not merely my friend but my idol as well.. again sincerely...
wah.. really so much to say.. so much i wanna say..
lets have another part after the next duty.
i promise to myself.. i will keep on typing something here..
as a record.. or as a place to relax...
